10-minute guided letting go practice for waking at 3am — at bedtime

About this practice

For the times at bedtime when waking at 3am takes up more room than you would like — 10 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: waking at 3am

Waking at 3am is common because sleep cycles and body temperature both shift then. The problem is rarely the waking; it is the thinking that starts immediately after.

It tends to show up as:

• Wide awake with the mind running
• Problems feeling enormous in the dark
• Lying there until the alarm

The aim is to stop the mind from attaching to the first thought, so the second sleep cycle can arrive on its own.

Doing this before bed

• Do it in bed or somewhere you can move straight to bed after
• Lower the light, and do not check anything afterwards
• If you fall asleep before the end, it worked

Falling asleep mid-session is a success, not a failure to complete it.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the heaviest part of your body right now. Let it be heavy.
2. 0:13If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
3. 0:26Now let your attention move from the room into your body, slowly, the way you'd move through a doorway you know well.
4. 0:44For the next few minutes, the only job is to notice what's already happening.
5. 0:58Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
6. 1:11Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
7. 1:25Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
8. 1:37Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
9. 1:49Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
10. 2:02Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
11. 2:12Notice how the 3am brain running its meeting changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
12. 2:29There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
13. 2:47If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
14. 3:02We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
15. 3:12I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:25If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
17. 3:38Let this be easy, if easy is available.
18. 3:49A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
19. 4:00Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
20. 4:14There's no need to try harder than this.
21. 4:25Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
22. 4:37Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
23. 4:48Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
24. 5:00Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
25. 5:14No rush to move on.
26. 5:23Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
27. 5:36Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
28. 5:48Stay here a little longer.
29. 5:57Notice your breathing, without changing it.
30. 6:07Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
31. 6:21Let it be this simple.
32. 6:30Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
33. 6:42Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
34. 6:53A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
35. 7:04Whatever the night that feels endless is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
36. 7:19Imagine the 3am brain running its meeting as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
37. 7:38Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
38. 7:53If the thoughts that feel enormous in the dark has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
39. 8:12Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
40. 8:24Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
41. 8:37I'll step back. You stay here.
42. 8:47Nothing here needs to be efficient.
43. 8:57Just the breath, still.
44. 9:06Start to notice the edges of your body again, and the surface you're on.
45. 9:20When you're ready, look around properly.
46. 9:30A few seconds more.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.