Guide · sleep · 3 min read
A wind-down that starts before you are tired — the long answer, briefly, after a difficult conversation
Waiting until you feel sleepy usually means waiting until midnight. The wind-down is what creates the sleepiness.
Start here
Every point here is written so that a bad week is still enough to manage it.
Difficult conversations leave a residue. This is for the residue.
If you only do one thing from this page, do the first point below. It is first because it removes the most friction for the least effort.
What helps
Stop work at a fixed time, not when the work is finished. The work is never finished.
Have a last-thing ritual that is the same every night. Tea, teeth, ten pages. Rituals work because they are boring and repeated.
If your brain starts up as soon as you lie down, keep a notebook by the bed and write the thoughts down. The paper holds them so you do not have to.
What to do when it does not work
Lower the lights in the room you are in. Bright overhead lighting at 10pm tells your body it is still afternoon.
Do the boring parts of tomorrow tonight: clothes, bag, lunch, the first item on the list. Unfinished admin is what keeps people awake.
Start ninety minutes before you want to be asleep. That is longer than most advice suggests, and it is where the difference is.
Questions people ask
What if I am not tired at bedtime?
Do not lie there. Get up and read something dull under a dim light until you are. Bed should not become the place where you try.
Written for people who want the practical version. No accounts, no tracking, no newsletter wall.
If this is not the angle you need, try Tired eyes after a long day of screens — a gentle, practical guide, when you are on your own, When grief arrives out of nowhere — a straightforward guide, when you are too tired to try hard or When to drink coffee so it does not ruin your sleep, step by step, when you are cold and want to be warm.